Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Age-Progression, Schmage-Progression


The past few days I have been reading about Adam Herrman, a child who disappeared in 1999 and was only recently reported missing by his parents of the year. Because he's been missing for so long, we don't know what he might look like now. We're relying on age-progression technology to find Adam. The geniuses of the Butler County Sheriff's office in Kansas came up with this photo using age-progression technology.

I'm not trying to be insensitive here, but I have a few discrepancies about this photo. I feel like Mr. Age Progression is jumping to a few too many conclusions.

First of all...the teeth. Wow, what the heck is going on here? I mean, this is a really nice set of chompers on this guy. If he has, in fact, been on the run for the past 10 years, I doubt he had the time or resources to endure the bimonthly orthodontic visits these perfectly straight teeth would require. If I was 13 and had no parental supervision, I can't imagine that the orthodontist would be on my "places to visit" list. But these teeth show evidence of great care. Not only are they straight, but they are white...a little too white if you ask me. Crest White Strips aren't cheap either. Am I reaching to assume that homeless people are more worried about finding food or shelter than the state of their teeth?

OK, moving along. The eyes. If you look at the early photo of Adam Herrman he has brownish eyes. Why, after 10 years did his eyes suddenly turn piercing blue? They're nice eyes, don't get me wrong. It's just in my experience eyes pretty much stay in the same color family, and his baby blues are REALLY blue.

Next...the glasses. If we're assuming here that he's fronting the bill for braces and teeth whitening, can't he splurge on some new glasses? He's obviously concerned with his look. Not that these crappy, "little kid of the 70's" glasses aren't nice...but I just think he would want to update his look. I imagine he probably wanted to update his look from the moment he got those dumb glasses. Come on Mr. & Mrs. Herrman! It was 1999 in this photo, not 1973. What is with these glasses? Are those really the best glasses you could find? I realize that you may have been working with a tight budget, but still, I had glasses in 1990 that were more current than those things.

In conclusion, I'm not dissing anyone for trying to find Adam because I really do hope that he turns up. But honestly folks, is this really what this kid would look like after 10 years on the run? Probably not. I think this age-progression "technology" could use some work. But just in case, keep your eyes open for an attractive 21 year old, with nice teeth, bright blue eyes and little kid glasses.

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted to be the first to comment on Julie's Observations...great blog, I totally agree with your observations (no pun intedned).

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